It’s a question that’s not being posed to you as it were
coming from me. As if you came up to me,
and I asked, “Who are you? And what do
you want?” It’s a question you ask the
reflection when you look at the mirror each morning. That’s of course assuming you look at the
mirror in the morning. That’s a pretty
safe assumption though, as I’m sure some of you might spend too much time
looking in the mirror. I’m obviously
kidding, but it’s a question I feel we’re not asking ourselves enough.
When I say enough, I really question as to how many times we
look at ourselves and ask who we are. Do
we ask that on a weekly basis? A
monthly? Time goes by so quickly, and
it’s so easy for the year to come to a close before we assess what we’ve been
doing for those past 12 months. And
frankly, I can understand why we don’t ask that question more often. It’s not an easy question to answer. Not easy because it’s so hard to find the
basis of the answer. Do you base your
answer on your actions? Or do you base
it on your words? How about your
motives? Quite often we intend to act on
something, but for whatever reason fail to do so, but we sincerely meant to
follow through.
I guess when it all comes down to it, do your actions match
the words you say you are? When someone
else asks who we may be, we may very well be quick to give a general positive
overview on the person we are, but we can be very honest and say that we’re not
totally honest in our response to that individual. Which is not altogether bad, because who
wants to hear the whole dirty laundry list of someone we just met? But really, do our actions match our
words? And sure, we’re not always going
to follow through on what we say we’re going to do, but as a rule, can it be
said that the way you describe yourself would be recognizable to those around
you who see how you act?
It’s an age old question.
In the Bible, Paul would lament over the fact that he didn’t do the
things he knew he should do, and the things he shouldn’t do, he found himself
doing. Of course, that’s a little
different, because that was a man that was trying to live up to a standard,
God’s standard, and found himself failing.
Which, when you think about it, was a pretty good answer to our
question. He would look at the reflective
surface, and honestly admit that he wasn’t the man he should be.
This question has been going through my mind a lot lately,
and I figure it comes down to two reasons.
The first is that I live in a town and, to various degrees of success,
work in an industry where there is a lot of talk. I have, over the last 5 years, met so many
people who have talked of who they know, what they’ve done, what they can do,
and at the end of the day, is all hot air.
Their actions were, in some cases, almost the opposite of what they said
they stood for and do. One of the
comments I would get a lot from my colleagues was they appreciated the fact
that I would give them the straight skinny.
Whether it was good new or bad news, an encouragement or a harsh
critique, they respected me for giving it to them between the eyes. They may not have always liked what I said,
but I was just being upfront with them, and they dug that. As I said before, “honesty: we may not always see eye to eye, but you’ll
always know where I stand.” So with all
the talk that I’ve heard, I wonder how often, if at all, do others look in the
mirror and ask themselves this question.
The second reason is to present a challenge; to myself
definitely, but also to you, if you’re so inclined as to accept challenges from
people whom you barely know. It hit me
pretty hard last night as the temperature dropped pretty low for SoCal. I hate the cold, and I’m not ashamed to admit
that I get cold easily. Born and raised
in SoCal, 65, for me, is on the chilly side.
I was thinking about all the people on the street having to deal with
the bitter cold on top of being hungry, and I wondered if I’m doing enough to
help them. Enough, there’s a loaded
term. You ask the rich, greedy man how
much is enough, and he’ll answer “more.”
But you know what I mean. I can
say that I care for the homeless, but if I’m not doing much to help them, does
it really mean I care for them? Before
you answer what seems to be a simple question, think of this simple
analogy. I care about the Dodgers. Root for them, excited when they win, bummed
when they lose, but I haven’t done one thing in the past, at least, 7 years to
help them. Haven’t attended a game, bought
any merchandise, not one dollar to support the team. Does it mean I don’t care about them? That’s different, you say, you don’t
personally know the Dodgers. True, but
you can also say that about the homeless.
Let’s take a different approach.
How many of us have old friends that we care about deeply, but seldom
have contact. Life is busy, you work,
they work, you have family, they have family, and weeks and months go by
without a word. You haven’t done
anything at all for them for months, but you still care very much for them.
The challenge is to look at the reflection and ask that
simple question, and other questions will flow.
Do your actions support who you say you are? If not, why?
What are your motives behind your actions, and what are some excuses we
make to explain our lack of action. C.S
Lewis had a great quote in “The ScrewTape Letters” (great book, by the
way): “The more often you feel without
acting, the harder it will be to act the next time, and in the long run, the
harder it will be to feel.” I think
about that when I pass by those holding signs and asking for a bit of
help. The more often I pass them without
doing anything, the easier it becomes to act the same the next time. It’s at those times when I need to hold up
that mirror.
