Love and Relationships

A few days ago, a group of us had a discussion; the topic was love.  It started from a brief conversation that was had with someone at church, and the comment was made, “I love you, brother.”  That comment just felt too Christian-ese to the listener, too much of a church cliché, like when someone says they’ll pray for you as they slap you on the back and walk away. 

The thought that went through the listener’s head was, “How can you love me?  You don’t even know me,” and that started the discussion on whether there can be love when there’s no relationship.  The viewpoint was that if you loved someone, you were going to be in there life, that there would be relationship, and that absent that, there couldn’t be love.

One segment of the group didn’t totally agree with that position.  This segment, and it was me, said that it was possible to have love for someone without having relationship.  I asked if it was necessary to push your way into someone’s life and intrude in their space to prove that you love them.  I do my best to respect people’s time and space, and I’m a firm believer that if someone’s not interested in giving you their time, then they’re not really interested in you being in their space.    Making yourself available to whatever someone needs, whenever they need it, certainly there’s love there, wouldn’t you agree?  There are a number of people for whom I have love, who I have little contact with, but they still know, I believe, that if they ever needed anything, I’d be there in a heartbeat. 

After all, loving someone is wanting the best for them, and doing whatever is needed to attain that, even if that is merely being there only when you’re needed. 
Is that a cop-out? 
Is the act of establishing a close relationship with someone necessary for love to be involved? 

A segment of the group felt strongly that if you were going to show true love, then you were going to make huge efforts to be in their life, to know exactly what to provide when they’re in need.  There’s truth to that argument, and I won’t deny that, however, I couldn’t agree with the position that without relationship, there could be no real love.

The parable of the Good Samaritan had been brought up earlier in the conversation, and I circled back to it to prove my point.  Essentially, the parable was used to answer the question of who is our neighbor.  Yet, it was the follow up to the command to love your neighbor as yourself.  It’s clearly established that the Samaritan had no relationship with the injured man.  In fact, there was a history of animosity between the two entities.  However, the Samaritan was there in the man’s time of need. This parable was used to illustrate what it’s like to love your neighbor.  The Samaritan didn’t even know the man and yet gave of himself, and helped him overcome his ordeal.  The Samaritan gave of himself, his time, his resources to a man he did not even know.

Obviously, the parable was not intended to be used as a road map to how to avoid relationships and yet still give love.  It was used to highlight the point that you can love others, by giving of yourself, even to those you don’t even know.  It also hammers home the point that real love is the giving of yourself, your time, your resources without any expectation of reciprocity. 

Ultimately, the topic of the conversation became: 
Are Christians showing enough love to others? 
Have Christians, as a whole, failed in loving others? 
Are Christians merely giving platitudes when they say they’re going to keep someone in prayer?

There is a truth that relationships and love go hand in hand. 
Perhaps that’s what it is:  the deeper the relationship, the stronger love that can be shown. 

Yet, that shouldn’t be used to limit ourselves to the thought that there could be no love without relationship.  The Good Samaritan proved that some of the greatest acts of love can be shown to those that are not known to us.

Perhaps that’s the lesson for Christians during this time; at a time when people are afraid, at a time when people are in need for basic items, at a time when hope is fading. 

Have Christians, as a whole, in recent times, failed in showing love to others?  Perhaps.
Perhaps all that can change in this moment of history.